Monday, October 12, 2009

In the sandwich

Someone recently told me I am part of the 'sandwich' generation. The one that takes care of their parents and kids at the same time. The kids, yes, all the time, my parents, well let's just say that things are changing.


One year ago this was my Mom . . . .


Working everyday, climbing ladders or staging, taking care of the house and my Dad, doing all the shopping and about anything else that needed to be done around the house. Today mom can barely walk. The summer of 2008 Sciatica began to plague her, not to bad, some days were worse than others but Ibuprofen seemed to control it. As time passed the sciatica became worse and worse and she found herself being tossed around from doctor to doctor with no results.

In the past couple months the pain has become at times unbearable. She is unable to even leave the house except for doctors appointments and even then has to use a wheelchair once she arrives.

Though my husband and I had planned a day trip to Salem, MA or northern NH it hasn't happened. It's not looking to promising either but all that doesn't even matter. There will be other Falls, and other trips, other times for photography. Right now I'm just hoping the surgeon will do something, and quick, when she goes for her appointment on the 27th!

Today I bought her some pajama bottoms to wear (since that's all she can manage these days), called the Dr. for more pain meds, vacuumed her floors and bought her some groceries. So if I'm a little scarce these days you'll know why . . . kids or parents . . . I'm in the sandwich!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thought I would share a small thrill with you all. Seriously, it's not a big deal.

The above photo was in the local magazine, Accent Home & Garden, the Fall edition! (pg. 22)

My daughters close friends Mom was the Editor and had seen this photo on my blog. She asked if she could use it and I said sure. Unfortunately the Fall issue was also the final issue so that's the end of that. LOL!

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful week-end!

34 comments:

Snappy Di said...

Awww, so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sure it really frustrates and saddens her to not be able to be so active anymore. Just the pits that she has to bear so much pain and I wish her all the best, Sharon. Truly all the best.

Di

Bernie said...

Will keep your mum in my prayers, and for you also, you are a wonderful daughter......:-) Hugs

Loree said...

Sorry to hear about your mother. I hope that the upcoming appointment will help her.

Riet said...

I love that halloween picture you made. So funny and great that they chose it for a magazine.
Hopefully the doctors will be able to help your mother.

Kerri said...

Oh Sharon, I so know what you mean. I'm in that sandwich too, however my children are "almost" out of the nest. Baby girl at home is 17 and a Senior. My parents have had ill health for the past year but seem to be improving. I will pray that all goes well with your Mom's appt!

And how EXCITING to be published!!
Lovely pic for it too!

Jayne said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom Sharon. My mom fought with sciatica too and it seemed to go on for weeks and weeks. Thankfully, it resolved finally. I hope your mom can find some help and relief. It truly can be so debilitating.

Love your cute photo! Congrats on being published!!

The Curious Cat said...

Oh dear, so so sorry to hear about your mum. It is amazing how rapidly things can change. Let's hope she can sort this out and get back to being mobile. Thinking of you and her, it isn't nice to see the ones you love suffering...

xxx

hip chick said...

I'm sorry about your mum. I will include her in my prayers. Great picture. To bad about Accent magazine. My husband was once in that magazine also.

Erin said...

omg...my thoughts and well wishes that she can find some relief, some how.

as to her being up on that scaffold...my goodness i wouldn't even attempt that myself. brave woman.

Balisha said...

Sending healing hugs and lots of TLC for you and your Mom. She needs you right now and in taking care of her needs..you will create memories that you will never forget. She has a special daughter.
((HUGS)) Balisha

The Retired One said...

{{hugs}} to you and your mom...We have been there. I had my mom come live with us when she was diagnosed with brain cancer and she stayed with us until she passed. It was the best/worst time of our lives. Sad because we knew she wouldn't be with us long, but we hugged and loved on each other as much as we could during those last few months. I was exhausted both physically, emotionally (and spiritually). It is a hard role to become your mom's mom.
So my heart goes out to you.
Never mind the photography. Just hold the memories of your time together like a snapshot instead.

Laura said...

I feel for you Sharon. I'll say a prayer that the doctor can help relieve your Mom's pain. Being part of the sandwich generation stinks - and I only had the parent part to deal with. Thinking of you - try to take it one day at a time!

Pat said...

It's a hard place to be - the sandwich generation. I've been there, and done that. You'll get through it, and there will be days you'll wonder how, but it will be okay. Just treasure each day you have with your parents.

Both my parents are now gone and my kids are grown.

Pat said...

Forgot to say that I loved the pumpkin picture and congratulations on getting it published!

Glenda/MidSouth said...

Sorry to hear your Mother is not feeling well. Hope she can get some relief real soon. I would not be up on the ladder in the stairwell under the best of circumstances!! Take care of yourself also. I could have sworn I was already a follower of your blog!?!? When checking my "feed" list for new posts, I thought why do I not get an update on my "Reading List" - looked at my "Blogs I follow" list and you were not there!?!? Took care of that matter. I do know there are a couple I follow, but they don't appear on my reading list - who knows - maybe it will cure it's self.

Donna said...

Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and I hope she finds some relief, and soon. The poor thing. I'm in the sandwich with you.

It looks like you and your friend had an awesome time at Petey's! You tw could be sisters!...Donna

Chatelaine said...

Oh gosh, I know the feeling of taking care of the parents. Since my mom had her stroke 5 1/2 years ago, I feel like I've been on a non-stop treadmill. Work, nursing home, work, nursing home.

I hope you find some real solutions with the doctor. Give your mom a hug for me.

Wishing you well.

PS- Awesome Halloween photo.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I wish her the best with her medical process. I know it can be frustrating. I'm also sorry that you're having to deal with all the stress and heartache of the situation. I'll be thinking of you! xx

Great picture, by the way!

Steve B said...

Yes it is a big deal! How cool!

Allison said...

Goodness, it is so hard to watch our parents age. Anyone who could stand on a contraption like that must have a plucky spirit!

Valerie said...

My sympathies go to your Mom, I know what she is going through although my sciatica did eventualy resolve itself. Now I visit a chiropractor regularly and thats a wonderful experience. I hope your Mom gets some respite soon, and you too. It's not easy, is it? I loved the picture, by the way.

Jay Albert said...

Great pics,love the colors!
I went though much of that with both my parents at the same time. My Dad re-pointed the chimney on his house at the age of 79!(He snuck up there when no one was around)! Salem, Ma And northern NH will always be there, now's the time to cherish our loved ones!

dAwN said...

So sorry about your mom..I hope that the problem resolves itself soon..poor thing..
Take care ...
Very cool pumpkin photo.

dog trot farm said...

Sharon I will keep you and your mom in my prayer's. My parent's are 80 and 82 and are extremely independent, and do not like to ask or accept help from anyone. (which can be frustrating for all)You are not alone in the "sandwich" situation. Blessings

Mary said...

I'm so sorry about your mom -- I will keep her in my prayers. Both my in-laws are in failing health, so I feel, at times, as if I'm in the sandwich, too.

Congrats on the publication! What a cute photo!

Beth at Aunties said...

I KNEW your photos would become famous someday~even it was for a month:)

I know and so sympathize with your mom for her pain and with YOU for taking care of two households. The sandwich generation sometimes becomes too full. Take care of YOU first.
I have spent time almost daily at the nursing home and now the assisted living where my FIL is living. One day this week it ended up being almost 8 hours!
It is amazing at all the mishaps that seem to happen such as a lost remote ...then his cell phone quit working this week. I bought him a new phone and a new remote. Then new battery ended missing yesterday from his phone!
His eye is blackened from a recent fall... It doesn't seem to end.

He is still in love with his lady friend though and so darn cute about it:) I guess you/we have to see the rainbow in this storm.
Good luck and my prayers are with you and I hope for good news from the doctor. There is so many new treatments which could help her. ~♥

MaineBirder said...

Sorry to hear about your mom. We will keep her in our prayers.

Congrats on having a photo published! It is indeed a thrill that you will always remember, last issue or not.

Eve said...

I hope your mom found some help! Poor thing. I had back surgrery already and I know just how bad it can hurt to be with back pain. I know the pain when right down my leg and it was unbearable. I hope she is better soon.

steppinthru said...

It's tough being the bologna in that sandwich! I know because I am there too. Although my kids are grown I am stuck between my parents and my in-laws. No one warns us about this time in our lives. Hope your Mom gets her back taken care of soon. Coach had that problem and got IMMEDIATE relief with surgery.

Country Girl said...

The photo's a hoot, and kudos to you on the magazine publishing!
I sure hope relief comes soon for your mother. It's awful trying to find the answers and the right doctors.

Krista said...

Well, now you can say you've been published (even if it was the last issue!) Congrats on that!

momma-lana said...

I went through this after the birth of our youngest child and it is horrible pain. I finally went to a chiropractor even though I didn't believe in chiropractic at the time. My pain was gone in a week. Hope your mom finds an answer for her pain too.

Cindy said...

Hi Sharon, sorry about your Mom. I hope she finds relief soon. I kind of know what she's dealing with although mine doesn't sound as bad. I started having the pain about 8 months ago and didn't know what it was. I called it a "sick" pain. Very uncomfortable and painful at times. I hope mine will just clear up on it's own. I really do hope your Mom gets well soon.

Love all the new photos. Congratulations on the publication of your photo. That's really awesome.

My Mom has RA and I as the youngest was the last to leave home (or was supposed to be the last one to leave) I couldn't do it. She needed help and Dad couldn't do it on his own so I stayed. My plans change once in a while and I plan to get my own place but then I change my mind. I'm not sure what our parents would do without us. I'm sure you're like me and enjoy being around your Mom and Dad. I can't imagine not being with them. They did so much for me growing up - the least I can do for them is take care of them when they need it.

Have a great week.

~Cindy

Carolynn said...

I've been a bit absent myself these days. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom's failing health. I do hope she finds some relief soon. Chronic pain is exhausting. Big Hugs, all 'round.