Friday, January 15, 2010

You never know ....

.... what the next day will bring


This morning my older daughter texted me that a 15 year old freshman in her high school took his own life last night. The teachers notified all students during second period with a prewritten statement from the principal, something I'd never heard of before but they probably felt it would better than telling them when the teacher could quiet everyone down as opposed to during morning announcements. Turns out my younger daughter in the middle school knew the boy, but not well.


It was a very sad day all around. Both girls texted me off and on throughout the school day to keep me updated on who knew, what happened, etc. Most teenagers have never had to deal with the death of a fellow student and my heart just aches for them. But mostly it aches for the family of the boy who died. The grief the parents are going through today. All the years they'll never have. And I just don't understand it. Maybe if I knew the circumstances it would make more sense, but I doubt it.



The one thing I do know is that I hope tomorrow is a better day for our family. I hope my girls laugh and smile and enjoy time with their friends, like teenagers should. I am so grateful for the loving relationship I share with them.

31 comments:

Linda said...

You are wise to be thankful for the good relationships you have with your children. When those relationships are damaged or broken, situations like the one you described happen. It is so important to take good care of relationships.

Snappy Di said...

Awww, Sharon.... So sorry your girls have to experience this. Wishing with all my heart that they have a better and happier day tomorrow... and you too!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Glenda/MidSouth said...

Sharon - I am sorry your daughters are going thru this. One of my daughter's classmates took his life when they were in Jr. High. I skipped family reunion that year, as I felt I should stay in very close contact with my daughter during that time, and the school was offering counseling.
Glenda

hip chick said...

What a tragedy. My daughter used to skate with this boy at the skate park in town. A very, very sad day for this family.

Donna S. said...

This is so so sad. Make sure the kids have someone they can talk to. Someone in my son's class did this & it became "the thing to do" and 3 or 4 more followed within a few months.

JC said...

Teenage years are hard. Add in any problems at home etc and well, this happens sometimes.

Does anyone know why he would have done this ?

Laura said...

How terribly sad. Being a teenager is so difficult, and how sad for that family to go through such a tragedy.

Carol said...

Terribly sad.. indeed, life is hard for kids; they need all the hugs they can get.

A New England Life said...

Linda, it hasn't been all sunshine and roses with my girls but we sure do try. The girls are our lives and they know it. I don't ever want to look back with regret.

Di, the girls will be fine but as with most of the kids at school it just changes their world a bit.

Glenda, what a terrible time. They are too young to be making such horrible choices.

Hip Chick, it certainly is a sad, sad day for the family. I hope your daughter is doing okay.

Donna, that is shocking! Absolutely shocking! How the kids and families get through I just don't know.

JC, I heard he had been picked on. What else was going on I don't know. It seems he had a bunch of good friends though and many kids have gathered on facebook to honor his life.


Laura and Carol, thats what my daughter kept saying, how sad it all is. I agree, kids can never get too many hugs, even if it drives them crazy!

Sharon

Cindy said...

How very very sad.

PinkCat said...

How sad! But it's so good that your daughters can talk to you about such things. From my experience of similar things happening at school during teenage years, the good thing to know is that they do bounce back quickly. x

Riet said...

What a sad tragedy. I heard in my country it also happens a lot that teenagers take their life. Being a teenager these days must be hard. Wonderful you have such a good relationship with your girls. I love your sky pictures.

Jayne said...

How very, very sad Sharon. Who knows what was going on in the life of that boy. I hope that maybe by his passing, others will be more aware and reach out to those who seem to be in pain. Prayers for his family.

Judy said...

Sharon, I have been battling the black dog of depression since childhood. As a formerly suicidal teen, I can say that his pain was so great that he couldn't even see anyone else's pain, any other choice that did not mean his continued overwhelming pain, and he simply got to the point where he could not do it any longer. Not alone.

Kerri said...

How terribly sad! Hoping today is brighter for all....tears are flowing for that family....

Erica Houskeeper said...

Very sad news. The boy's family must be devastated beyond belief. I am sure this is difficult and confusing for your daughters, too.

A New England Life said...

Judy,

Thank you for sharing such personal insight. So often people don't want to talk about depression and those dark moments. I hope as the years have passed you have found some peace within yourself.

Depression runs in my family on my fathers side. Often times the signs are missed, believe me, I know first hand, and I guess thats what I don't understand ... how the signs are missed. As a mother I am just as guilty. Luckily with my daughter we devoted every moment to helping her get through her struggle. Now she is thriving. I'm thankful everyday that she made it through those early teen years.

Shirleyanne said...

This is so tragic. Greatest of sympathy & compassion goes to the family concerned. Dying at such a young is very difficult to understand.
I'm sure with all your love & support, your girls will come come to terms with what as happened.
Just goes to show we mustn't take anything for granted & to be grateful for each & every day.
Take Care

hulagirlatheart said...

Based on personal experience, I can tell you that suicide never makes sense to those left behind, I suppose because we can't truly understand the overwhelming pain of the person who took his own life. We've lived through the sudden death of a young person in our family, and I can say that it did give my young daughter a better appreciation of life and of the loved ones around her. An expensive gift...but a gift nontheless.

Susan Wicker said...

Hello Sharon..I was very saddened by the news of the suicide. If only young people could realize that "this, too, shall pass." It is always tragic when something like that happens. Tragic, tragic, tragic. My heart goes out to the family as well as to your girls. Your sunset (sunrise?) photos were so beautiful. Perhaps the boy is now in a beautiful place beyond those pink skies. Sincerely, Susan from writingstraightfromtheheart.blogspot.com

Nancy Medina said...

That's so sad Sharon, I feel for his family and friends. I'm glad schools these days really seem to try to help and intervene, and provide counseling quickly to the other students.
xoxox

Carolynn said...

How terrible! So young. So much life ahead of him. So many ways his life could have changed and so many things he had to offer this world. It's a tragedy and my heart aches for this young man and the depth of pain he must have been in to make this awful choice. It aches too for the loss of life and potential that went with him.

Frances said...

My heart goes out to this young man's family and friends, as well as my prayers for peace, comfort and understanding.

Hugs to you and your family.

My Farmhouse Kitchen said...

Sharon..it made me very sad to read this..what a horrible loss...the family is in my prayers tonight..as are you and your girls...

you post was very beautiful...and so true....we just never know...

this leaves me with a heavy heart and my deepest sympathy to all..

Sending love and blessings,
Kary

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

When I was 15, my friend at school died from cancer. It was unbelievable, but brought a lesson to us all. I had visited her in hospital prior to her death and was always grateful that I had. And by golly, I've since always tried to extend just a little more love and attention to those in my life... just in case. A helping hand, a smile, a listening ear. So valuable. Just like you to your girls in his time of pain...

Carole~Maynard Greenhouse said...

Oh Sharon I'm sorry I didn't come visit sooner. You should have mentioned it on your email. What an awful thing to go thru. It's never possible to make sense of something like this. Sometimes counseling can help but most ppl don't feel comfortable with that. Please if there is anything I can do please don't hesitate.
xo,
Carole

Chatelaine said...

It's so hard to deal with death at any age, but, it's even more devastating to hear of the death of someone so young.

Hope your girls are doing better today. Enjoy every precious minute with them!

Country Girl said...

Oh, how heartbreaking for everyone. And so much so for the boy's parents. All we want for our children is happiness.

The Curious Cat said...

Poor soul...it must have been pretty bad for him to see that as the only way out...it is difficult to understand how that must feel...and then how the pain transfers and spreads like an infection after the act is done... It just isn't the way to go about things...sigh...maybe if he'd seen the sunset in those photos that morning...maybe he'd have thought differently. When I feel my darkest, a walk in nature often soothes...the small things bring comfort and help you to carry on. Hope you all feel happier soon xxx

The Retired One said...

Loved these sunrise (or sunset?) pictures...
sooo sad about the boy.

You always wonder why he felt so desperate and why that was the only way out in his mind...It effects his family and friends so much, the pain will never, ever go away.

Pat said...

That is such a tragedy. My heart aches for that family and all the kids, including your daughters, that knew him. What's so sad is that the teenage years are full of angst - and they feel so burdened. You want to reassure them that "This, too, shall pass."